Tim Ferriss

The Best (and Worst?) Autoresponders of 2007

Reflecting or deleting e-mail can be an art form. (Photo: marinegirl)

An increasingly popular approach for escaping the inbox is the routine use of e-mail autoresponders.

Love it or hate it, reflecting or deleting e-mail can be an art form.

I’ve collected some of my favorite autoresponders of 2007 from Gmail and included them below.

The styles range from polite and hat-in-hand to direct and full-frontal, and include examples from both employees and business owners… Names have been changed.

Have a good (or amusing) autoresponder to share, whether real or made-up? Drop it in the comments and give someone a helping hand or a good laugh 🙂

The Standard:

SUBJECT: I Received Your Email

Dear Friends, Clients and Colleagues,

Due to high workload, I check email twice daily at 9:00 AM and 2:00 PM EST Monday-Thursday. I respond to urgent email at those times and endeavor to respond to all other email once a week, on Sundays at 6:00 AM EST.

If you require urgent assistance (please ensure that it is urgent) that cannot wait until either 9:00 AM or 2:00 PM, please contact me via phone at 555.666.4416.

Thank you for understanding this move to more efficiency and effectiveness. It helps me accomplish more to serve you better.

Sincerely,

Joe Louis

Polite and Boss-Friendly:

SUBJECT: Please call if it can’t wait until 11am or 4pm

Hi all…

In an effort to increase productivity and efficiency I am beginning a new personal email policy. I’ve recently realized I spend more time shuffling through my inbox and less time focused on the task at hand. It has become an unnecessary distraction that ultimately creates longer lead times on my ever-growing ‘to do’ list.

Going forward I will only be checking/responding to email at 11a and 4p on weekdays. I will try and respond to email in a timely manner without neglecting the needs of our clients and brand identity.

If you need an immediate time-sensitive response… please don’t hesitate to call me. Phones are more fun anyways.

Hopefully this new approach to email management will result in shorter lead times with more focused & creative work on my part. Cheers & here’s to life outside of my inbox!

All the best,

John “The Employee” Doe

Short and Sweet:

SUBJECT: Off of E-Mail — Call if Urgent

Thank you for your email! Due to my current workload, I am only checking email at 11am and 4pm. If you need anything immediately, please call me on my cell so that I can address this important matter with you. Thank you and have a great day!

-Tom Brady

Take No Prisoners:

Subject: I’m sorry but your e-mail has been deleted

Hi, it’s Simon Cowell.

I’m on a project until February 4 — your message has been deleted and will not be seen.

Please re-send after the 4th. Or if something is urgent, please contact helpme@hairychest.com.

All the best,

Simon

Take No Prisoners with a Smile:

SUBJECT: I’ll be back August 14th…

Hey, it’s Jimmy here…

I’m traveling on vacation and will return on Tuesday, Aug. 14th.

[website or Google calendar URL] < —- That’s my schedule

All email I receive until that time will be automatically deleted, so if you have a dire emergency, contact my Executive Assistant, Jack-o-lantern at (555) 444-2525.

That way I’m not overwhelmed with playing “catch-up” and I can hit the ground running and give you the immediate attention you deserve when I get back.

Fair enough?

I appreciate your courtesy in advance and look forward to our paths crossing again after Aug. 14th.

All good wishes,

Jimmy Liu

###

The Universal Language of “No, I Didn’t Get Your E-Mail”:

SUBJECT: Penelope checks email twice a day/mira el correo 2 veces al día

Dear customers and colleagues,

Due to high workload, I am currently responding to email twice daily at 11:00 am and 4:30 pm CET.

If you require urgent assistance or response (please ensure it is urgent) that can not wait, please contact via phone at +22-555559878.

Thank you for understanding this move to more efficiency, effectiveness and focus. It helps me accomplish more to serve you better.

Have the greatest day,

Penelope Cruz
 ——————

Estimados clientes y colegas:

Debido al gran volumen de trabajo que tengo actualmente estoy contestando al correo dos veces al día a las 11 de la mañana y 4:30 de la tarde (hora Madrid).

Si necesitas hablar conmigo con urgencia (por favor valora si es de verdad urgente), no dudes en llamarme al móvil al +22-555559878.

Mi intención es ser más eficaz, concentrarme de verdad y sacar más adelante para atenderte mejor.

Ten un día estupendo,

Penelope Cruz

###

Nothing But The Facts:

SUBJECT: I’m busy

Hello There,

I don’t chek e-male much. To much reading. Bye.

GW

###

Related and Popular Posts:

The Not-To-Do List: 9 Habits to Stop Now

The Art of Letting Bad Things Happen (and Weapons of Mass Distraction)
Chapter 6 – The Low-Information Diet: Cultivating Selective Ignorance
How to Outsource the Inbox and Never Check Email Again

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Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That's how we're gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you're rude, we'll delete your stuff. Please do not put your URL in the comment text and please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not your business name, as the latter comes off like spam. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation! (Thanks to Brian Oberkirch for the inspiration.)

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Coyote

A card game by Tim Ferriss and Exploding Kittens

COYOTE is an addictive card game of hilarity, high-fives, and havoc! Learn it in minutes, and each game lasts around 10 minutes.

For ages 10 and up (though I’ve seen six-year olds play) and three or more players, think of it as group rock, paper, scissors with many surprise twists, including the ability to sabotage other players. Viral videos of COYOTE have been watched more than 250 million times, and it’s just getting started.

Unleash your trickster spirit with a game that’s simple to learn, hard to master, and delightfully different every time you play. May the wit and wiles be with you!

Keep exploring.